Axehole

OK - it’s a lousy song that you’v heard a zillion times too many. But you watched all the way through!

Not for the squeamish.

It’s Friday - and yet again we’ve got a bizarre music item that we promise will make you wonder WTF?

United States patent 5163447 is for a Force-Sensitive, Sound-Playing Condom - aka, the musical condom.

The musical condom looks and acts like a traditional condom but it incorporates “a chip-controlled piezoelectric sound transducer (18) which plays a melody or voiced message when during intercourse. The contacts of the sound-playing unit are closed and the transducer is activated” by forceful movements.

Here’s what InventorSpot’s Elizabeth Valeri had to say about the musical condom:

The prophylactic works like this: record a song or message, put the prophylactic on, begin your business, then every time you thrust your recording is played out loud.

You can be as sweet as you like, “I love you Valentine,” as dirty as you like, “Who’s your daddy?” or as conceited as your partner suspects you are by recording things like a drum roll, or the theme song from Apocalypse Now, Wagner’s: The Ride of the Valkyries.

“Who’s your daddy?” - not something you want your Johnny to be asking.

Nothing can compare to the Lawrence Welk version of Brewer and Shipley’s One Toke Over The Line:

Sweet Jesus! That’s the scariest thing I’ve seen in days!