Axehole

Strange Press Release #001:

Spring Break now has its own official Spring Break theme song according to Thomas Allen of the Thomas Allen Research Group.

“Sex On Sunday’s song ‘Room 413’ may as well be called the Official Spring Break Sex Song,” Allen lamented after hearing it at the Florida beach with the most public displays of sex and sex-related arrests this week.

Sex On Sunday and their Spring Break song, Room 413 gained national attention this week when Allen’s Californian research group released the results of a double blind study that found that Sex On Sunday’s music included the use of mind altering NORP patterns in many of its songs.

Allen claims that the Nitric Oxide Release Patterns (NORP) found in Sex On Sunday’s music exploit the human brains frequency following response to create sexual stimulation and activate the release of human sex hormones. Allen’s study found that “there is a profound rise in sexual promiscuity in those that listen to Sex On Sunday’s music and that it’s effects are much more profound and lucid than music without Nitric Oxide Release Patterns.

I do not know of any other artist using NORP in their arrangements or that has ever used NORP. Sex On Sunday is the first to ever use NORP and they are using a very refined form with very subtle pattern reflection that is masterfully integrated into appealing arrangements, which make it so effective. The way that they’ve integrated NORP into their music is very clever.”

Study Shows Sex On Sunday’s Music Makes Female Listeners Sexually Stimulated

According to Allen, “the effects of NORP were well illustrated last week at those Spring Break events that featured Sex On Sunday’s ’sex music.’ Why is it that in both Panama City Beach, Florida and Cancun, Mexico, we had the most arrests relating to public displays of sex, where and when Sex On Sunday’s sex music was playing?”

According to Sex On Sunday’s publicist George Goldstein, “We acknowledge that Sex On Sunday’s song Room 413 may have been the song that was playing during the alleged foam-covered-sex-melee in Cancun, but being turned on beneath the foam in Cancun is nothing new for spring breakers. Panama City had one of the highest spring-break-related-arrest rates last year, so it shouldn’t startle anyone that they are alleged to be one of the highest this year with Sex On Sunday’s music playing.”

Allen insists, “What Sex On Sunday is doing is very dangerous, because their sex music can now be used to seduce tens of thousands of people at a time each time a Sex On Sunday song is played on the radio. This is unethical and morally bereft. Both the FCC and FDA need to get involved to censor and regulate music that instantly makes people want to have sex. The beats, frequencies and patterns in Sex On Sunday’s music are different than other music. Every subtle nuance of a Nitric Oxide Release Pattern is fully reflected in Room 413 and other Sex On Sunday songs. To the listener, it just sounds like a very catchy song with a great arrangement, but there is far more going on with its counter beats and answering figures. Sex On Sunday’s music is NORP music. Sex On Sunday’s music is a drug and aphrodisiac. Sex On Sunday’s music is sex music.”