Friday is WTF day at Axehole, when we bring you the strangest, most bizarre, and even disturbing musical find of the week.
This week, we feature not a leather instrument, a pleasure orb even a bass that blows. This week, an announcement made us ask “WTF?”
The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) has been accused of making a lot of bad decisions over the last few years, but it’s latest move gets the WTF Gold and Platinum award.
This week, the RIAA announced the formal launch of a Master Ringtone Sales Award, updating its 47-year old Gold and Platinum program to recognize the growing popularity of enjoying music through cellular phones.
That’s right, now your ring tone can go Platinum.
C’mon, RIAA! Seed P2P networks with corrupt MP3s. Hold up world trade talks over Russian music sites. Hassle colleges because students share their music. Sue grandmas for piracy.
But awards for ring tones? That’s going to far.
According to the RIAA, 128 titles are included in the inaugural group of certifications, encompassing tracks from artists on all the major record companies and representing a variety of musical genres. The RIAA awarded 84 Gold, 40 Platinum and four Multi-Platinum Master Ringtone certifications.
Ringtones will be certified Gold (500,000 downloads), Platinum (1 million downloads) and Multi-Platinum (starting at 2 million and following in increments of 1 million thereafter).
Steve Largent, President and CEO of CTIA-The Wireless Association had some interesting comments on the announcement.
“Like when peanut butter first met chocolate and ice cream was first plopped on top of an edible wafer cone, wireless and music are a natural and historic fit,” Largent continued.
“I truly believe this marriage of technology and art has the potential to bridge cultural divides and bring peoples of the world together like few inventions before it,” he adds.
Those ringtones must kick ass.
Ringtones that are marrying technology and art to bridge cultural divides and bring peoples of the world together include:
- Bubba Sparxxx’s Ms. New Booty, which features the unforgettable lyrics, “Take it off, let if flop, shake it freely, Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin’ everywhere”;
- Dem Franchize Boyz’s Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It;
- the Black Eyed Peas earned a Multi-Platinum award for My Humps;
- D4L for Laffy Taffy;
- T-Pain for I’m N Luv (Wit a Stripper).
- Marvin Gaye for the iconic Let’s Get It On
Apparently “bringing people together” is Wireless Association slang for getting it on with strippers.
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