It’s Saturday, and you know what that means at Axehole - we forgot to put up a WTF Friday item yesterday!
Every Friday, Axehole brings you the most unusual music news of the week. Yesterday, we got tied up with Paris Hilton, though, and lost track of time. So here’s a special belated WTF item that we thought you should know about before the holidays.
The UK government has been asked to investigate Christmas music torture, delivered from the likes of Bing Crosby, Wham, Paul McCartney and Mariah Carey.
According to complaints, Christmas music in shops is “torture” - the “forgotten pollutant” which shop workers must be able to silence for the sake of their sanity.
Campaigners and trades unions have spoken out about the playing of Christmas music in shops over an ever-extending festive period and the psychological effects that the repetitive tunes can have on staff who have no choice but to listen to it.
“If people don’t want it and if they have a negative response to it and if they’re exposed to something continually, the same songs over and over, it’s no different to being tortured, it’s the same reaction, the body will react in the same way,” said Val Weedon, national coordinator of the UK Noise Association.
“We are asking government to investigate this particular area and to look into whether it is something that the Health and Safety Executive could take on board,” said Weedon.
Shop workers’ union Usdaw (Union of Shop, Distributive and Allied Workers) says that it is ready to take action on the issue.
Pa-rum-pa-pum-pummeled
“It’s an issue that has been brought to our attention,” said Usdaw’s Paul Clarke. “What we’re saying to managers is if Christmas carols are being played on the same CD repeatedly that could create an unhealthy working environment for people.”
“Our first port of call would be our officials or reps talking to managers and saying we’re sick of listening to Little Drummer Boy for the 15th time today could we change the CD over?” he said.
“If the incessant Christmas music does in fact make an employee ill they may try to bring a claim in the civil courts for personal injury,” said Catherine Barker, an employment lawyer with Pinsent Masons.
The Chartered Institute of Environmental Health said that it had not come across any cases of Christmas music alone being a cause of mental distress. “For an employee to seek redress specific to a type of music, rather than volume, they would have to suffer health effects independent of any other cause,” said a spokesman. “As far as we are aware, Christmas music alone has not been a cause of occupational ill-health.”
“Any noise can cause a whole range of physical and psychological abnormalities,” said Nigel Rogers of PipeDown, a campaign against piped music. “In physical terms it can mean raised blood pressure, cortazone disbalance and also depression of the immune system, in fact it generally makes you ill, it causes stress, which is not at all surprising. It is a psychological thing as well at the same time,” he said.
A Cap In Yo’ Ass At Christmas
If holiday music really can torture you, some songs may go even further and put a cap in yo’ ass. ASCAP has published a list of the Most-Played Christmas Songs:
- The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
Performed by: Nat “King” Cole - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Performed by: The Pretenders - Winter Wonderland
Performed by: Eurythmics - Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Performed by: Bruce Springsteen - White Christmas
Performed by: Bing Crosby - Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
Performed by: Andy Williams - Jingle Bell Rock
Performed by: Bobby Helms - Little Drummer Boy
Performed by: The Harry Simeone Chorale & Orchestra - Sleigh Ride
Performed by: The Ronettes - Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer
Performed by: Gene Autry - It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Performed by: Andy Williams - I’ll Be Home For Christmas
Performed by: Vanessa Williams - Silver Bells
Performed by: Kenny G - Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree
Performed by: Brenda Lee - Feliz Navidad
Performed by: José Feliciano - Blue Christmas
Performed by: Elvis Presley - Frosty The Snowman
Performed by: The Ronettes - A Holly Jolly Christmas
Performed by: Burl Ives - It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
Performed by: Johnny Mathis - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Performed by: John Mellencamp - Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane)
Written by: Gene Autry, Oakley Haldeman
Performed by: Elvis Presley - Carol Of The Bells
Performed by: John Tesh and the Christmas Symphony Orchestra - Do They Know It’s Christmas? (Feed the World)
Performed by: Band Aid - (There’s No Place Like) Home For The Holidays
Performed by: The Carpenters - Santa Baby
Performed by: Madonna
For Masochists Only
While some may be tortured by John Tesh doing Carol of the Bells, you may have heard so much holiday tripe that you’ve built up ear-calluses.
Here are a couple videos that may help. Use with caution.
Princess Leia’s Holiday Message
Morpheus, Pee Wee & The Del Rubio Triplets
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