Who do you turn to, when you absolutely, positively need to turn up the bass?

Danley Sound Labs. DSL created the Matterhorn - the most massively powerful sub ever created.

It was born out of a military request and is housed in a 20′ x 8′ x 8′ shipping container. 40 drivers, 40 kwatts of self powered and built-in generator to boot.

Just WTF is the military doing with a massive subwoofer?

Fact Sheet

Here is a partial list of the parts that were used in the construction of the Matternhom:

• 40 - Subwoofers
• 40 - 1,000 Watt amplifiers
• 1 - 20’ x 8’ x 8’ Cargo container
• 53 - Sheets 4′ x 8′ 18mm 13 ply Baltic Birch plywood
• 645′ - 3″ x 3″ 1/4″ angle iron
• 23′ - 4″ x 4″ square steel tubing
• 39′ - 1″ x 1″ X 1/4″ angle iron
• 23 lbs - .030 welding wire
• 95 - Tubes of heavy duty construction adhesive
• 1100’ - 12 Gauge speaker cable
• Approx. 5000 mechanical fasteners (1/4″and 3/8″)
• screws and bolts
• $200 worth drill bits
• Tools that broke down during construction
• 2 drills,1 grinder,1 portable band saw

A&P has unceremoniously sacked brothers Mark and Matthew D’Avella for using the company facilities to film a faux-gangsta rap video, Produce Paradise:

The brothers were canned over “inappropriate acts”, which presumably includes filming a gangsta rap video on company property, urinating on the produce and dropping your pants at work.

A&P is suing the brothers for one million dollars. In a statement, A&P spokesman Richard De Santa said, “Producing a video that intentionally and unjustly depicts our company in a negative light, and utilizing company facilities without management knowledge of the specific content involved, is obviously a blatant violation of our policy.”

If you think you might run out of bizarre ways to play your MP3s, check out the Thermo Sport Fridge/Cooler. Not only does it have tiny speakers built-in, but it refrigerates 16 cans of your favorite beverage.

Here’s what SkyMall has to say about this frankenplayer:

Keep your drinks & food nice & cold!

Say hello to your new favorite travel companion! Just plug this thermo sport fridge/cooler into your car’s cigarette lighter, turn it on and relax, knowing that your contents are cooled down to 40 degrees F.

To make your tailgate parties, picnics or camping trips even more fun, turn on the two-speaker radio. Includes an input jack and a storage pocket for your iPod. High-quality insulation, sturdy nylon exterior, shoulder strap. Lights indicate when cooling.

Yep - christhrash reprogrammed the Chuck-E-Cheese band to do “Ms Booty”.

Gangstas hate classical, at least in Tacoma, Washington, where city police and Pierce Transit officials are mounting a classical attack on a growing problem of street gangs at bus stops.

Speakers are being installed to transmit classical music at the Tacoma Mall Transit Center, a tactic designed to get rid of the gangstas who’ve been buying/dealing drugs at the bus stop.

“We want to create an atmosphere that is safe for our passengers,” said Rod Baker, the transit agency’s chief of public safety. “If this has an impact on encouraging people to move elsewhere instead of hanging around and loitering around an area, then why not?”

It sounds like Tacoma’s finest haven’t seen A Clockwork Orange.

Skeptics of the plan include Tony Wilson, a Pierce Transit bus driver for 18 years.

“It could do one of two things: It could calm the beast, or it could just stir things up,” Wilson said. “I think the reason we don’t have music on the buses is that you can’t please everyone. It would just cause drama.”

Nick Kennedy, a 17-year-old bus rider, said others beside gang members might take direct action against a steady stream of divertimentos, scherzos and polonaises.

“So many people who hang around here don’t listen to that kind of music,” Kennedy said. “They won’t like it - any of them.”